Sunday, 6 March 2011

Sunday March 6th 2011

          A friend of mine thinks 50% of her music reminds her of me. Sad we're not close anymore. Sad i make sure no friendship lasts so long. It's not like i do it intentionally. I honestly don't, but its like my psyche is used to putting distance between me and people who potentially could become important to me. Whats even sadder is that all of these songs are melancholic. I tried changing that by sending her two cheery ones but the lyrics are even more melancholic. I guess i just cant do happy like the average person. Too bad i think happy would look better on me.
Seems i'm so close to tears these days i cant help it that even a sad song in a language i don't understand can get the water works started up again. Never thought i'd become a sap, i must be dying of something terminal that i don't know about. So few are the things that make my heart beat and even those things people want to take away from me. When will i earn the right to feel that silly smile on my face in my heart? Haven't i had enough sadness to earn it by now? Haven't i put enough of these smiles on other people's faces to earn one secret all for myself? Won't you leave one piece of my heart big enough to pick up with my fingers?

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